I wanted to share with you a testimonial I had from one of my recent free webinars. The person sending it to me was more than happy that I shared it and here seemed appropriate.
“I had 10 minutes in between calls today so I thought I would drop you a quick email to tell you about my improvement from last week.
I am a collector of people. I have a lot of people gravitate towards me who are in pain or have things going on. I have a core friendship group of about 10 people who I have known the very minimum of 7 years and the maximum of my entire life. On top of that I seem to have a lot of other friends who come to me when they have issues. I am the one friend people call when they are in crisis or need a pick me up and this impacts my family time and I find it hard to set boundaries to satisfy my own needs.
When the corona virus became an issue at first, my phone was going off all of the time, friends telling me they couldn’t cope and what impact it was having on them. The thing is I take their emotions on – it’s almost like by telling me they felt better because some of their sadness and stress transferred on to me (I don’t know if that makes sense). I got really stressed about it and started to feel like the end of the world. I have my own issues and worries about the virus but it as almost like playing top trumps with some of them, my parents live in Spain, but one friends dad lives in Asia so her upset felt more important than my own.
After your first session last week one of the friends who use me as a support called me and started to talk to me about her stress around having the kids home all of the time and a hubby who was busy working from home. I asked her why she wasn’t having this conversation with him and as nicer way as I could I told her that I also was working from home, with my kids here, as was my husband and all of my spare energy I had to pour into my own home, I suggested that she talk to her husband about what was upsetting her and ended the call in a nice way.
Then it happened again when the next one called, and then once more after that. It was like a shield had been built around me where I was able to respectfully bat back all these conversations and make it clear that my priority was my family and my own emotions.
The funny thing was, when one of my core friendship group called me I reverted back to the old me and was able to support her as I normally did. Which was fine as she and I have known each other since birth and I knew her fears and feelings were valid as she is a front line key worker. I don’t mean its up to me to decide if anyone’s feelings are valid, its just the only way I can articulate what is going on in my brain.
Your session has helped me to build more healthy boundaries with people who are coming to me needing support. I have been able to respectfully ask them to seek support from others whilst letting them know that I am still their friend but I cannot be their emotional crutch. I feel lighter and more carefree then I have in a really long time. I am starting to understand that I can say thank you, but no I am not free to talk to you right now and that’s ok. All I am worried about is my close family and friendship circle and their families. I am still doing food parcels for the teachers at school, still shopping for my elderly friends parents, still checking in with some people – but not allowing “mood hoovers” to leave me with their emotional baggage.
Happy for you to share any part of it for your testimonials.
You really have helped me and thank you
Would you like to experience massive change like this? Then email me for details of how I can help!